Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
