return my video game
i think i have herpe
just one?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
