why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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