You really coming over, don't trick.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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