Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
