you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
