Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
