I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
