Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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