I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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