I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
