were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
