we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize