I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
