Cold hands, warm shart.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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