I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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