I should be sponsored by Trojan
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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