Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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