I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
