somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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