The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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