Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
