Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
