Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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