Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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