This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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