Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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