My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
two words...techno handjob
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
