how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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