Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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