I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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