the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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