Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I want her autograph on my taint
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
