sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
