Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
