Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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