i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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