Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
