yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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