I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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