Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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