just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I need a burrito and a hug.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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