$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
