Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
