Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
