mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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