i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
