Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
