I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
