but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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