not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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