There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The feeling are messing with the penis
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
