My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
