it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
sarcasm needs its own font
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
